TIM E HOLDER

Back in the summer of 1975, I was on a college mission trip to East Brunswick, New Jersey where we held vacation bible schools for the local children. There were 8 college students on our team and we spent the entire summer living in the preacher’s home, where the garage doubled as the church. Close to the end of our trip, the leader of the team gave us a ‘surprise’ exercise during one of our devotionals. He wanted us to make lists of all the good qualities we perceived in the character of each member of the team. Or what we saw as God-given strengthens and gifts in each other. I have processed through that experience over the years and have never forgotten the impact it made on me. I don’t remember the comments I made about the other members of the team, or even the comments made about me. What I do remember is the fear that the leader of the team would call my name and there would be total silence from the affirmation builders. That everyone would glance toward each other out of the corner of their eyes, praying someone was able to come up with a positive character aspect to pin on me. Or that in trying to be benevolent, they would use trite, obviously impossible attributes to pacify me, like, “I fully believe you will be President of the United States one day.” Or, “I will be shocked if you don’t win hundreds of Academy Awards in your lifetime.” And that everyone else would nod their heads just a little to briskly and affirm just a little to loudly the truth behind the statement. Or, not able to find any good qualities, they would take this opportunity to point out all my idiosyncrasies and character defects and give me pointers on how I might fare better the next time I’m a participant in a similar exercise. But, then, I remember every single person’s expression as we went around the room and admired each other. As we verbally appreciated each other. I remember expressions on people’s faces, most of them, I’m sure, reflecting the same fears and apprehension I experienced just before my name was called.

But, as the exercise continued, A completely different spirit filled the room. Tears fell from every eye as a humble holiness enveloped that small living room. A cherished gift was given to every person there, as though we were pinning a value tag on each heart that read, “priceless.” James 3:17 and 18 says, “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.”

It wasn’t uncommon for God to be a name caller. Saul’s name was changed to Paul which means “Humble.” Peter, of course, became the “stone” on which the Lord built His church. Moses meant “drew out.” One of my favorite characters from the Bible’s name was changed from Mirab-Baal to Mephibosheth, which meant “exterminator of shame.” Eunice, the mother of Timothy, and my mom’s name, means “good victory.” So obviously, what these people were called, even their given names, meant something…and it often described to outsiders, what this person’s character was like, or was, at least meant to be when they were first named by their parents. It helped define them to those just meeting them. And, as was often the case, their names may have been changed later on to fit their new identity. One day, we will all be given a new name. Revelation 2:17 says, “Are your ears awake? Listen, Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.” I remember names that I was called when I was growing up that weren’t particularly good. In fact, I remember more of those names than the ones I should have been called. But, even back then, there was a stone already hewn, hidden in the heart of God that has my real name, the name He has specifically designed me to have written on it. And it describes me perfectly. And one day, when I see it, when He hands it to me, I will finally realize all He planned for me to do and be. And I will explain, “Of course that was my name.” I don’t think it was a typo, in James 3, when James said, “Do the HARD WORK, of getting along.” It isn’t easy, all the time, to find the best in another fallen, sinful human being. But, believe it or not, it’s there. And we are called to honor each other with the dignity only we can give.

I remember that night in 1975. I remember the honor I felt, not only in receiving the words of affirmation from my friends, people that I respected, but the tears that fell as my heart swelled with the knowledge that I was speaking streams of life into a parched heart. There was a distinct reverence in the confidence that some, just like me, were hearing, maybe for the first time, that they were valued for their gifts…that what they had to offer was crucial and far-reaching for the kingdom of God. That they were so very important. It was just as much a gift for the giver of these consequential words as it was for the recipient. I have been involved in many step studies with Celebrate Recovery over the past 17 years. As a matter of fact, I’m just finishing up my 26th step study at a correctional unit. There are two questions in one of the participant guides that have always amazed me. They amaze me because, to a study, the results are always the same. One question asks, “Name some of the negative things you’ve done in your life.” The other, “Name some of the positive things you’ve done in your life.” It is no longer surprising to me that the answers to the first question could fill a book. On every participants response. On the other hand, when answering the question, “Name the positive things you’ve done,” the responses are surprisingly short. Even to the point of some participants leaving the space blank. Every step-study, I make the point to the men that “positive” does not necessarily mean all the altruistic, magnanimous moments that make us look better than we know we really are. What if listing positive things means sitting quietly on a beach and listening to God while we watch the moon? I’ve laughed, a lot, I’ve seen the dirt floored hovel where my Dad was born, I’ve almost been sucked down a spouting hole Kuai, I’ve rescued a puppy stuck in melted tar in a pipe under a dirty country road on a steaming summer day, I’ve been given many, many hugs, I’ve cooked great meals for friends, I’ve read the Bible all the way through, I’ve learned to listen to hurting, breaking hearts, even when I was too tired to keep my eyes open, I’ve forgiven, I’ve been forgiven, I have loved Jesus, better and better over the years, never perfectly, but covered by boundless grace, I’ve studied about what my future home will be like, I’ve shared with a dying friend about what our future home will be like, I’ve gone to the manager of Kroger and told him how amazing Leah, the deli chef is, I’ve tipped more than the server deserved, I’ve praised the Lord, watching the sunrise, I’ve wept watching his majesty in a sunset, wondering who else besides God could put orange and turquoise together and make it look good, besides Howard Johnson’s. The guys always sit in silence after I read what I believe are positive moments. It never crossed their minds that being happy is a positive. That sometimes, just being present is enough. What are we listening to about ourselves? Do we hear the names we heard as a child so often that we believed them to be true. And still call ourselves those names today? Do we hear the names, “failure,” “worthless,” “ugly,” “stupid,” in our hearts when we turn out the lights to sleep? Do we run through all the wrong, embarrassing, irresponsible things we did that day? Is our life inventory filled with only the negative things we did that day? Or do we dwell on the names we were called? Or even the ones we gave ourselves? If we are really honest, do we truly believe those names are the ones that the Creator of the Universe, the One who uniquely made us wants us to hear and believe? Or do we hear HIS names?

I think we all intellectually know that real truth is only found in God’s word. I defy anyone to show me a scripture where God said we are a mistake. So, why is is so easy to believe the negative things about us, the things our culture believe are so important over the truth revealed to us in Gods word? I’m guessing it’s because we are so inundated with what’s expected of us through media and what we are taught by the world is supposed to be valuable that we allow those things to, over time, through constant religion, extinguish the truth. So much so that we begin to believe the lie of the enemy, that we have no value.

I’m choosing as of late, to begin my day with His truth about me. Truth that says, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Or Deuteronomy 7:6 that I am His treasured possession. Or Psalm 17, I am the apple of His eye. He has called us names alright. Chosen, blessed, sons and daughters, Saint, His. Heir. Not condemned, accepted, victorious, a new creature, set free, redeemed and forgiven and given access to the very throne room of God, I am light in the Lord, I am a citizen of heaven, I am complete in Christ, I am hidden with Christ in God, I will be revealed with Him in glory, I have been chosen by God and He has made me holy and beloved, He has supplied all my needs. I am NOT defined by who I am, but Whose I am. We are usually called something after we’ve done it. But God calls us before we do it. Just like he did with men and women of the bible. The world may see us as creative, or smart, or annoying. But, God sees us as world changer, radical leader, peace maker.

Listen carefully. Tonight, as you go through the events of your day, taking responsibility for what you need to take responsibility for and letting go of things you were not responsible for, as you begin to drift to sleep, if you hear any voice other than, “You are mine, and you are breathtaking,” you are NOT listening to Jesus, and what He says about you. You’re not listening to the One who holds together all of creation, and is more intimately interested in the very next breath you take. The Lord may give you a name himself. In fact, I know He will. But, he may also ask you to be the life giver of a name for someone else. It is hard work. But, it just might change the course of someone else’s life, including yours.